French Toast with Ketchup

One thing fun (?) about adopting an older child is observing their food choices. Do not know where this one came from, but last weekend I went to Sonic to get breakfast for everyone. Got Dat French Toast as I thought that would be the easiest thing for him to deal with - don't think they do bacon or sausage in Vietnam and I know scrambled eggs aren't a favorite with Dat. So he takes a bite of the toast with syrup and makes his 'icky, picky, ain't gonna eat it' face. Next thing we know, he is dunking his french toast into the ketchup for his tater tots, and scarfing it down. YUMMY (NOT!!!) We were trying not to gag watching him eat. I had to leave the room. I didn't try to stop him from eating it as there is nothing wrong with the combination - nutritionally - just not one I want to try. I'm also not fond of spagett-o's or soup for breakfast, but as long as he eats something, I'm not going to object - gag yes, object no (lol).

Today he had mac and cheese for breakfast and mac and cheese for lunch. Dinner was Cici's chicken soup broth (2 bowls) and two small slices of pizza. He ate the cheese pizza and ate half of the pepperoni slice after eating the pepperoni off first. I was surprised he even wanted the pizza, I expected him to eat the noodles and red sauce, but he wasn't interested. I am still trying to ease him into American food by cooking vaguely Asian food and taking him to a local Asian restaurant at least once a week. I am also trying to make him taste a wide variety of foods - everything one of the rest of us order, he has to take a bite of. He is pretty good about it and I hope to get him to eat better than C did her first year home. Was hard to get that child to eat anything but chicken fingers/bites/strips/ or similar foods. She eventually did branch out and include mac and cheese, but she still isn't an adventurous eater. She will eat the same foods all the time. She'll find one thing she likes at every restaurant and only order that from then on. So boring, so I am trying to make her try new foods too.

Dat is still doing well at school, everyone seems to love his smile and the kids in his class are trying to teach him English. He started ESL/ESOL today so we'll see how that goes, he also has a 6th grader who takes him twice a week and reads books to him. Teacher says he is doing really well parroting what is said to him, but isn't speaking English spontaneously yet. Wouldn't expect him to speak on his own yet - hasn't been here long enough, he doesn't parrot us here at home though.

He loves playing on the computer so I have bought him several (discounted) kindergarden prep games. He loves them and is picking a lot up fast.

He is such a sweet kid - I got lucky and was blessed a fourth time, now if only A would get over his jealousy and come back to the loving, caring, thoughtful child I know he can be.

Spring Break

I had to go back to work last week so I left the kids sleeping and off I went. Every morning I got a call from K or A. If it was K calling, A was hurting/being mean to/ something Dat; if it was A calling, K was being mean to him and doing stuff for Dat but not A or something along those lines. Sunday we went to a Hibachi style restaurant for C's gotcha day. Dat loved it. Other high-low/lights. Took Dat in on Monday to have his TB test read - perfectly clear - YAY, he went to the dentist on Monday, we had a 1:30 appt but were to show up at 1:00 to fill out paperwork. Got there at one, quickly filled out the paperwork, then sat until 3:00 when they finally called us in. manage to convey to Dat that they were going to take pictures of his teeth so he relaxed. In the examining room, we played with the equipment and stuff until he relaxed. Sometime later the dentist came in, looked at his teeth, said they were very bad with tarter and he had gum disease. Dentist said he wanted him ASAP - that day if possible - for cleaning and wanted him to see the pediatric dentist who came to the office once a month. Got to the receptionist for appts and she couldn't get us in with the ped dentist until the first part of May - 8 weeks away. For cleaning she did a little better, she could get us in 7 weeks away. This is ASAP? So I decided to change dentists and go with the Pediatric dentist that a friend uses for her boys. Insurance is the same for both in- and out- of plan so why stay in-plan with a dentist that always makes me feel like a non-person. New dentist had an opening next week so I took it.

Thursday Dat had to go in for 6 count em - 6 vaccines. Poor baby has not had any vaccines in his short life and he has to have started on them to start school. I asked a Vietnamese friend at work to talk to Dat and explain what was going to happen, he couldn't get Dat to talk on the phone so he offered to come with me to take Dat. He was so sweet to Dat, sat in the back seat and talked to him, asked him what he liked and would like me to fix for him, things like that. It was great to have someone to translate for Dat.

Friday I worked from home and saw first hand the things A was doing to Dat. Nothing really horrible - standing in front of Dat so he couldn't see the TV; stretching out on the couch and pushing Dat off; changing the TV channel so Dat couldn't watch what he wanted to - but very annoying, mean things to do to someone who doesn't understand English.

I had a long talk with A - explained that I understood that he was jealous because he has been misplaced as the youngest and things that the girls used to do for him, they are now doing for Dat and not A; that since Dat has decided that K is his security and safety, K is playing with Dat and not A (but that could change if A treated Dat better, K was protecting Dat and keeping A away from him was part of that protection) etc, etc, etc. I talked about how sad it was that A had wanted a little brother for years and now he was pushing him away. I also told A that I was trying to make it as easy as possible and make it up to him by doing things for A that I usually wouldn't except for special occasions. Like go to A's favorite restaurant and buy him toys that I usually wouldn't because Dat wanted things. A got a new bike but I got Dat a scooter and Dat inherited A's old bike. That sort of thing. Something clicked - don't know or care what - and A started treating Dat much better. They played nice last night and all day today - wonderful! I am so proud of A. I know there will be steps back and steps forward and I told A that I do not expect him never to fight with Dat, but not to go out of his way to be ugly.

Took Dat roller skating this morning - skating lessons at the local rink and Dat jumped right in. K took him back and forth across the rink the first few times, then I stepped in and went with him. Mean mommy that I am, I wouldn't let him hold on to me or the wall, but I walked beside him so I could catch him if he lost his balance. By the end of the hour he was going back and forth by him self, he'd bounce right back up and keep going if he fell. Such a brave kiddo.

Came home and I couldn't put the bike together so I called upon one of my neighbors, A's best friend's dad and asked if he could do it for me. We all trooped down to take it there then C, A and Dat stayed to play with Nic and Jake. Jake is in first grate and was playing with Dat. They said that Jake told them that anytime A goes down to play with Nic, he is supposed to bring Dat so Jake and Dat can play.

French Fries and Ice Cream

We have so much going on that I'm not sure where to start. Thursday was the kids last day of school before spring break so we spent Friday running errands. Dat had to have the TB test and they hadn't had the stuff on Wednesday so we went back for the injection. Realized that the insurance had him listed by his American name. Had to listen to another lecture on how I can't use that name until I have paperwork (legal paperwork) stating that that is his name. So for now he has to be registered and listed everywhere as Dat Tien Bui, I can't even claim him with my last name. So I called the insurance and had it changed. Got him a dentist appointment on Monday. Got him registered for school as Dat Tien Bui. Started trying to figure out what I need to do to get a recognition of adoption and legal name change.


Still friction between Dat and A. A is settling down and sometimes plays really nice until something annoys him, then he trys to stand in front of Dat so he can't see the TV, or takes over the computer in the guise of 'helping and showing him how'. Had to talk to the girls today, they have become so protective of Dat that they are trying to keep A away. A sat in one of the computer chairs right behind Dat this afternoon when I was out walking dogs. There were two chairs and A took the one Dat had been using so Dat started whining and flapping his arms. A was also playing phone ringtones and holding the phone to Dat's ear and Dat didn't like it. Unfortunately all Dat does is whine and flap his arms/hands. The girls told me that A was being mean to Dat and said this is what he was doing. I had a long talk to them as they hadn't said anything to A to get him to stop, but let it go on until I was home, then told me. I wish I knew how to handle it, K did the same thing when I brought C home and now A and C are always at one another's throats. I do not want the girls to turn the boys against each other and I am afraid that is what this scenario is leading up to. Dat will feel free to do things to A, thinking the girls will protect him and A will feel so left out that he will be trying to come up with new things to do to Dat rather than joining forces with him. A already has some self-esteem issues due to his dyslexia and this could just add to it. I think I also see parenting classes in my future.


Went to a new Vietnamese supermarket after a lunch of Dim Sum. Got a LOT of noodles and some other things for comfort food for Dat. Other kids picked out some treats too.


Tomorrow we will celebrate C's 4th adoption day then I go back to work on Monday. I'll have to take off at noon to take Dat to the dentist but at least I'll show my face for a while.


Dat told the ladies at the nail shop that he gets noodles for breakfast, then we eat lunch out and he wished I'd let him eat noodles for dinner but I don't. I bought several different frozen dinners that were noodle dishes or rice dishes in order to give him some variety. He doesn't want variety but I don't think I want him to eat noodles 3 meals a day. He likes fried chicken (strips, nuggets), french fries, barbecue ribs, fruit, ice cream, Chinese rice soup (congee). Only thing I have given him that he didn't eat was quesidillas. Too much cheese I guess.


His comprehension is getting better every day although he still isn't trying to speak english. I picked up a toddler learning CD and he loves it. Was playing the musical instruments and la-la-laing along with the music. Was really cute. He still isn't affictionate, but that is cultural as well as not knowing us well enough yet. Turns into a board when I try to hug him - doesn't pull away, but is a board. Will stand next to me, slightly leaning on me and will let me rub his back or put my arm around him if K isn't around. Isn't quite as stiff with K, but still doesn't hug her back. He has bonded to her and is her shadow. She asked me the other day if I was upset that he'd bonded to her. I said of course not, as long as he bonds with someone in the family, the rest will eventually come along. If he didn't bond with anybody, I'd be concerned, but not otherwise. He does look at me for approval?, permission?, I'm not sure what, sometimes when with her so I'm sure to give him a thumbs up and a big smile when he does. This is what I saw the other night when I walked into the living room:




That is Suki between K's feet and Pumpkin on C's lap. Of course, mean mommy woke them up and sent them to bed - even though it was only about 8:30pm.

time flys

First days home. Monday was spent making lists of things to do this week before I go back to work next Monday, things like getting Dat on my insurance; making doctors appointments; getting him tested for language; getting the dog fixed and the other dogs the shots they need; registering Dat in school, etc, etc.

Tuesday we went to my favorite nail shop where all the people are Vietnamese. They are all from Saigon so have a different accent than Dat does so he didn't understand everything they said/asked him. However they did the main points across: 1- he was going to the doctor's today and they would want to draw blood; 2 - He was being tested for school in the afternoon; 3 - the dogs and cats aren't toys and he needs to pet them but not try to pick them up; and 4 - he needs to try to learn English. He told them he really missed Vietnamese food and I said I was planning on taking him to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch. They gave him some noodles with Vietnamese seasoning and he was in hog heaven.

So today we dropped off the puppy to be fixed, went to the doctors where they don't have him listed on my insurance yet so I had to pay, then in the afternoon to have him tested for language. The class I had been told about - special class for non-English speakers - isn't up and running yet. The district is trying to get it going but doesn't expect to have it going until after the next academic year. Well, by then Dat won't need it - real bummer. So he will be going to school with A and C and will be in 1st grade and will be pulled out for ESL classes.

In the process of talking to her, I told her about the issues and concerns I have about C's English and comprehension. I explained that C had tested out of ESL before we moved here but I was very concerned about her since she has comprehension issues. I have talked to her teachers but they say she is doing fabulous and not to worry, well, while I agree that she is doing fabulous, I do worry since she is so great at memorizing and bad at understanding what she is memorizing. I am very much afraid that when she gets to the grade where memorization is out and comprehension is in, she will fail. I have several times asked her to draw a conclusion from something she is memorizing for a test or to tell me similarities and differences between two things when she is memorizing stuff about it (for example - similarities and difference between hibernation and migration when they have finished the unit on them and she just looks blankly at me). She had to do a science project and even with the rubric and at least two pages of information on projects, she had no clue what a hypothesis was (the word was on the information sheet sent home), no clue beyond 'mix this with that and see what it does' , no plan, no thought as to how to photograph the experiment, no clue as to the quantities she should use, basically, beyond mixing two things together and seeing what happened. The teacher says 'oh, yes, we went over that in class for a couple of days. She knows what she is supposed to do.' Well, she doesn't know. In large part due to her not asking questions and not wanting to say she doesn't understand. I have told her millions of times that if she doesn't understand she should ask, but her best friend is in the same class and I don't think she wants to appear dumb in front of her. It is also an Asian thing - they don't want to appear dumb and will not say they don't understand. But I have also told the teachers that they need to do more than ask if she understands, she will say yes and that will be the end of it and she really has no clue. Her grades are good now so the teachers think she is comprehending, but I know she is not and is getting by on memorization. So tomorrow I am going to try to talk to the principal and see if she will have C retested for ESL. This is what the language evaluator said I needed to do. I said I hated to go above the teachers and she said, no, I had to go to the Principal and get her retested.
As for Dat, he will start 1st grade after spring break.

Sometime tomorrow I will have to find a dentist. I'm not real happy with the dentist we are currently using so I will be trying to find another and using Dat as the guuiney pig. His teeth are horrible and his gums bleed when he brushes and his breath stinks. Poor baby.

Finally Home

We made it home, survived some 20+ hours of traveling, made it through immegration and customs and are now home. Dat and the girls are outside playing, while Aidan takes a break. Dat is in seventh heaven with all the toys and stuff here. They took him down the street to meed some of the kids and he got all excited when he saw the bikes, but then chickened out when they tried to pursuade him to try one. He took one of the skooters and didn't do well apparently, tried to go too fast and couldn't balance. Makes it even harder to teach him since he has no english. He is out in the back yard now with a tennis racket and a yo-yo. I'm not sure about that combination, but whatever makes him happy right now.

I want to go to bed at the regular time to force my body back on Texas time, but I'm fading fast and may not make it

Day 12 - bored, bored, bored

So this morning we went out early (Aidan really wanted one of the ships) but the store wasn't open. So we went on down to he store that sold back-packs and bags and got a rolling duffel bag. Back in to the room for a couple of hours, then back to the store. Got three ships and a few other things which barely fit into the bag, then off to lunch. Back to the hotel to finish packing and sit until about 4:30-4:45 when I have to check out, then a car will take us to the airport. we'll eat dinner there and waste some 5 hours until our 11:50 pm flight leaves. They offered to let us stay in the hotel until 9 or so, but I wanted to get to the airport. I hate not having enough time and the way traffic is here, I don't want to allow just enough time to get there. I'd rather be early, get good seats (hopefully), and be bored there. I also figured Dat would like to watch the airplanes for a while. So the next time I post will be from home.

Day 11 - part 2

So Tuesday we shopped, Wednesday we went to the temple on the lake. It is a very nice temple dedicated to some general who according to legend tossed a sacred sword into the lake where it was picked up by a turtle and hidden until it is needed again to save Vietnam. Or something like that. There is a species of turtle in the lake that is found nowhere else if I remember correctly. Last summer I remember reading about someone finding one of the turtles. It was a big deal as they hadne't been seen since the 1960's and they were presumed extinct. Anyway it was a pretty cool temple.

Today we went to get Dat's passport, we had to do that first as I had to sign something to get it, then we went to the SOS clinic where they basically verified that Dat was the same child in the passport photo and that he was alive and didn't have anything obvious wrong with him.

After lunch we wandered through a department store as we had time to kill and I managed to find some jade I couldn't live without. Didn't spend that much, a little over $100 american. Then off to the Embassy for the interview and Visa. I payed the money, we sat and waited and waited and waited. I had a 2:00 appointment, so around 3:15 I was called up to a window, asked if I would swear that everything in the package they had was true and accurate to the best of my knowledge, I so swore, and the guy said to come back between 4 and 4:30 for the visa. The boys and I came back to the hotel and Hang ran some errands of her own, then picked up the visa for me. She just dropped it off. So we are good to go.

Tomorrow we'll sleep in, go across the street and get the boys the boats they want, check out of the hotel, then go to the airport and kill the rest of the day waiting for our 11:50 pm flight out.

Back home Saturday am. Yay!!!