Saturday, March 21, 2009

Spring Break

I had to go back to work last week so I left the kids sleeping and off I went. Every morning I got a call from K or A. If it was K calling, A was hurting/being mean to/ something Dat; if it was A calling, K was being mean to him and doing stuff for Dat but not A or something along those lines. Sunday we went to a Hibachi style restaurant for C's gotcha day. Dat loved it. Other high-low/lights. Took Dat in on Monday to have his TB test read - perfectly clear - YAY, he went to the dentist on Monday, we had a 1:30 appt but were to show up at 1:00 to fill out paperwork. Got there at one, quickly filled out the paperwork, then sat until 3:00 when they finally called us in. manage to convey to Dat that they were going to take pictures of his teeth so he relaxed. In the examining room, we played with the equipment and stuff until he relaxed. Sometime later the dentist came in, looked at his teeth, said they were very bad with tarter and he had gum disease. Dentist said he wanted him ASAP - that day if possible - for cleaning and wanted him to see the pediatric dentist who came to the office once a month. Got to the receptionist for appts and she couldn't get us in with the ped dentist until the first part of May - 8 weeks away. For cleaning she did a little better, she could get us in 7 weeks away. This is ASAP? So I decided to change dentists and go with the Pediatric dentist that a friend uses for her boys. Insurance is the same for both in- and out- of plan so why stay in-plan with a dentist that always makes me feel like a non-person. New dentist had an opening next week so I took it.

Thursday Dat had to go in for 6 count em - 6 vaccines. Poor baby has not had any vaccines in his short life and he has to have started on them to start school. I asked a Vietnamese friend at work to talk to Dat and explain what was going to happen, he couldn't get Dat to talk on the phone so he offered to come with me to take Dat. He was so sweet to Dat, sat in the back seat and talked to him, asked him what he liked and would like me to fix for him, things like that. It was great to have someone to translate for Dat.

Friday I worked from home and saw first hand the things A was doing to Dat. Nothing really horrible - standing in front of Dat so he couldn't see the TV; stretching out on the couch and pushing Dat off; changing the TV channel so Dat couldn't watch what he wanted to - but very annoying, mean things to do to someone who doesn't understand English.

I had a long talk with A - explained that I understood that he was jealous because he has been misplaced as the youngest and things that the girls used to do for him, they are now doing for Dat and not A; that since Dat has decided that K is his security and safety, K is playing with Dat and not A (but that could change if A treated Dat better, K was protecting Dat and keeping A away from him was part of that protection) etc, etc, etc. I talked about how sad it was that A had wanted a little brother for years and now he was pushing him away. I also told A that I was trying to make it as easy as possible and make it up to him by doing things for A that I usually wouldn't except for special occasions. Like go to A's favorite restaurant and buy him toys that I usually wouldn't because Dat wanted things. A got a new bike but I got Dat a scooter and Dat inherited A's old bike. That sort of thing. Something clicked - don't know or care what - and A started treating Dat much better. They played nice last night and all day today - wonderful! I am so proud of A. I know there will be steps back and steps forward and I told A that I do not expect him never to fight with Dat, but not to go out of his way to be ugly.

Took Dat roller skating this morning - skating lessons at the local rink and Dat jumped right in. K took him back and forth across the rink the first few times, then I stepped in and went with him. Mean mommy that I am, I wouldn't let him hold on to me or the wall, but I walked beside him so I could catch him if he lost his balance. By the end of the hour he was going back and forth by him self, he'd bounce right back up and keep going if he fell. Such a brave kiddo.

Came home and I couldn't put the bike together so I called upon one of my neighbors, A's best friend's dad and asked if he could do it for me. We all trooped down to take it there then C, A and Dat stayed to play with Nic and Jake. Jake is in first grate and was playing with Dat. They said that Jake told them that anytime A goes down to play with Nic, he is supposed to bring Dat so Jake and Dat can play.

1 comment:

Nancy said...

Sounds like you did some good mothering this weekend to get through to A. He wasn't just pushed out of the baby spot, but the only boy spot, too. I went through that with Sam as well. It's tough. Now Jack having been home 2 years still plays the "baby card" a lot and I have to keep an eye on Sam so his feelings don't get too bruised!

Try using the Melaleuca tooth polish with Dat. The Melaleuca oil, propolis, and myrrh will really help with the gum disease.

How was it being back at work?

Nancy