French Toast with Ketchup

One thing fun (?) about adopting an older child is observing their food choices. Do not know where this one came from, but last weekend I went to Sonic to get breakfast for everyone. Got Dat French Toast as I thought that would be the easiest thing for him to deal with - don't think they do bacon or sausage in Vietnam and I know scrambled eggs aren't a favorite with Dat. So he takes a bite of the toast with syrup and makes his 'icky, picky, ain't gonna eat it' face. Next thing we know, he is dunking his french toast into the ketchup for his tater tots, and scarfing it down. YUMMY (NOT!!!) We were trying not to gag watching him eat. I had to leave the room. I didn't try to stop him from eating it as there is nothing wrong with the combination - nutritionally - just not one I want to try. I'm also not fond of spagett-o's or soup for breakfast, but as long as he eats something, I'm not going to object - gag yes, object no (lol).

Today he had mac and cheese for breakfast and mac and cheese for lunch. Dinner was Cici's chicken soup broth (2 bowls) and two small slices of pizza. He ate the cheese pizza and ate half of the pepperoni slice after eating the pepperoni off first. I was surprised he even wanted the pizza, I expected him to eat the noodles and red sauce, but he wasn't interested. I am still trying to ease him into American food by cooking vaguely Asian food and taking him to a local Asian restaurant at least once a week. I am also trying to make him taste a wide variety of foods - everything one of the rest of us order, he has to take a bite of. He is pretty good about it and I hope to get him to eat better than C did her first year home. Was hard to get that child to eat anything but chicken fingers/bites/strips/ or similar foods. She eventually did branch out and include mac and cheese, but she still isn't an adventurous eater. She will eat the same foods all the time. She'll find one thing she likes at every restaurant and only order that from then on. So boring, so I am trying to make her try new foods too.

Dat is still doing well at school, everyone seems to love his smile and the kids in his class are trying to teach him English. He started ESL/ESOL today so we'll see how that goes, he also has a 6th grader who takes him twice a week and reads books to him. Teacher says he is doing really well parroting what is said to him, but isn't speaking English spontaneously yet. Wouldn't expect him to speak on his own yet - hasn't been here long enough, he doesn't parrot us here at home though.

He loves playing on the computer so I have bought him several (discounted) kindergarden prep games. He loves them and is picking a lot up fast.

He is such a sweet kid - I got lucky and was blessed a fourth time, now if only A would get over his jealousy and come back to the loving, caring, thoughtful child I know he can be.

Spring Break

I had to go back to work last week so I left the kids sleeping and off I went. Every morning I got a call from K or A. If it was K calling, A was hurting/being mean to/ something Dat; if it was A calling, K was being mean to him and doing stuff for Dat but not A or something along those lines. Sunday we went to a Hibachi style restaurant for C's gotcha day. Dat loved it. Other high-low/lights. Took Dat in on Monday to have his TB test read - perfectly clear - YAY, he went to the dentist on Monday, we had a 1:30 appt but were to show up at 1:00 to fill out paperwork. Got there at one, quickly filled out the paperwork, then sat until 3:00 when they finally called us in. manage to convey to Dat that they were going to take pictures of his teeth so he relaxed. In the examining room, we played with the equipment and stuff until he relaxed. Sometime later the dentist came in, looked at his teeth, said they were very bad with tarter and he had gum disease. Dentist said he wanted him ASAP - that day if possible - for cleaning and wanted him to see the pediatric dentist who came to the office once a month. Got to the receptionist for appts and she couldn't get us in with the ped dentist until the first part of May - 8 weeks away. For cleaning she did a little better, she could get us in 7 weeks away. This is ASAP? So I decided to change dentists and go with the Pediatric dentist that a friend uses for her boys. Insurance is the same for both in- and out- of plan so why stay in-plan with a dentist that always makes me feel like a non-person. New dentist had an opening next week so I took it.

Thursday Dat had to go in for 6 count em - 6 vaccines. Poor baby has not had any vaccines in his short life and he has to have started on them to start school. I asked a Vietnamese friend at work to talk to Dat and explain what was going to happen, he couldn't get Dat to talk on the phone so he offered to come with me to take Dat. He was so sweet to Dat, sat in the back seat and talked to him, asked him what he liked and would like me to fix for him, things like that. It was great to have someone to translate for Dat.

Friday I worked from home and saw first hand the things A was doing to Dat. Nothing really horrible - standing in front of Dat so he couldn't see the TV; stretching out on the couch and pushing Dat off; changing the TV channel so Dat couldn't watch what he wanted to - but very annoying, mean things to do to someone who doesn't understand English.

I had a long talk with A - explained that I understood that he was jealous because he has been misplaced as the youngest and things that the girls used to do for him, they are now doing for Dat and not A; that since Dat has decided that K is his security and safety, K is playing with Dat and not A (but that could change if A treated Dat better, K was protecting Dat and keeping A away from him was part of that protection) etc, etc, etc. I talked about how sad it was that A had wanted a little brother for years and now he was pushing him away. I also told A that I was trying to make it as easy as possible and make it up to him by doing things for A that I usually wouldn't except for special occasions. Like go to A's favorite restaurant and buy him toys that I usually wouldn't because Dat wanted things. A got a new bike but I got Dat a scooter and Dat inherited A's old bike. That sort of thing. Something clicked - don't know or care what - and A started treating Dat much better. They played nice last night and all day today - wonderful! I am so proud of A. I know there will be steps back and steps forward and I told A that I do not expect him never to fight with Dat, but not to go out of his way to be ugly.

Took Dat roller skating this morning - skating lessons at the local rink and Dat jumped right in. K took him back and forth across the rink the first few times, then I stepped in and went with him. Mean mommy that I am, I wouldn't let him hold on to me or the wall, but I walked beside him so I could catch him if he lost his balance. By the end of the hour he was going back and forth by him self, he'd bounce right back up and keep going if he fell. Such a brave kiddo.

Came home and I couldn't put the bike together so I called upon one of my neighbors, A's best friend's dad and asked if he could do it for me. We all trooped down to take it there then C, A and Dat stayed to play with Nic and Jake. Jake is in first grate and was playing with Dat. They said that Jake told them that anytime A goes down to play with Nic, he is supposed to bring Dat so Jake and Dat can play.

French Fries and Ice Cream

We have so much going on that I'm not sure where to start. Thursday was the kids last day of school before spring break so we spent Friday running errands. Dat had to have the TB test and they hadn't had the stuff on Wednesday so we went back for the injection. Realized that the insurance had him listed by his American name. Had to listen to another lecture on how I can't use that name until I have paperwork (legal paperwork) stating that that is his name. So for now he has to be registered and listed everywhere as Dat Tien Bui, I can't even claim him with my last name. So I called the insurance and had it changed. Got him a dentist appointment on Monday. Got him registered for school as Dat Tien Bui. Started trying to figure out what I need to do to get a recognition of adoption and legal name change.


Still friction between Dat and A. A is settling down and sometimes plays really nice until something annoys him, then he trys to stand in front of Dat so he can't see the TV, or takes over the computer in the guise of 'helping and showing him how'. Had to talk to the girls today, they have become so protective of Dat that they are trying to keep A away. A sat in one of the computer chairs right behind Dat this afternoon when I was out walking dogs. There were two chairs and A took the one Dat had been using so Dat started whining and flapping his arms. A was also playing phone ringtones and holding the phone to Dat's ear and Dat didn't like it. Unfortunately all Dat does is whine and flap his arms/hands. The girls told me that A was being mean to Dat and said this is what he was doing. I had a long talk to them as they hadn't said anything to A to get him to stop, but let it go on until I was home, then told me. I wish I knew how to handle it, K did the same thing when I brought C home and now A and C are always at one another's throats. I do not want the girls to turn the boys against each other and I am afraid that is what this scenario is leading up to. Dat will feel free to do things to A, thinking the girls will protect him and A will feel so left out that he will be trying to come up with new things to do to Dat rather than joining forces with him. A already has some self-esteem issues due to his dyslexia and this could just add to it. I think I also see parenting classes in my future.


Went to a new Vietnamese supermarket after a lunch of Dim Sum. Got a LOT of noodles and some other things for comfort food for Dat. Other kids picked out some treats too.


Tomorrow we will celebrate C's 4th adoption day then I go back to work on Monday. I'll have to take off at noon to take Dat to the dentist but at least I'll show my face for a while.


Dat told the ladies at the nail shop that he gets noodles for breakfast, then we eat lunch out and he wished I'd let him eat noodles for dinner but I don't. I bought several different frozen dinners that were noodle dishes or rice dishes in order to give him some variety. He doesn't want variety but I don't think I want him to eat noodles 3 meals a day. He likes fried chicken (strips, nuggets), french fries, barbecue ribs, fruit, ice cream, Chinese rice soup (congee). Only thing I have given him that he didn't eat was quesidillas. Too much cheese I guess.


His comprehension is getting better every day although he still isn't trying to speak english. I picked up a toddler learning CD and he loves it. Was playing the musical instruments and la-la-laing along with the music. Was really cute. He still isn't affictionate, but that is cultural as well as not knowing us well enough yet. Turns into a board when I try to hug him - doesn't pull away, but is a board. Will stand next to me, slightly leaning on me and will let me rub his back or put my arm around him if K isn't around. Isn't quite as stiff with K, but still doesn't hug her back. He has bonded to her and is her shadow. She asked me the other day if I was upset that he'd bonded to her. I said of course not, as long as he bonds with someone in the family, the rest will eventually come along. If he didn't bond with anybody, I'd be concerned, but not otherwise. He does look at me for approval?, permission?, I'm not sure what, sometimes when with her so I'm sure to give him a thumbs up and a big smile when he does. This is what I saw the other night when I walked into the living room:




That is Suki between K's feet and Pumpkin on C's lap. Of course, mean mommy woke them up and sent them to bed - even though it was only about 8:30pm.

time flys

First days home. Monday was spent making lists of things to do this week before I go back to work next Monday, things like getting Dat on my insurance; making doctors appointments; getting him tested for language; getting the dog fixed and the other dogs the shots they need; registering Dat in school, etc, etc.

Tuesday we went to my favorite nail shop where all the people are Vietnamese. They are all from Saigon so have a different accent than Dat does so he didn't understand everything they said/asked him. However they did the main points across: 1- he was going to the doctor's today and they would want to draw blood; 2 - He was being tested for school in the afternoon; 3 - the dogs and cats aren't toys and he needs to pet them but not try to pick them up; and 4 - he needs to try to learn English. He told them he really missed Vietnamese food and I said I was planning on taking him to a Vietnamese restaurant for lunch. They gave him some noodles with Vietnamese seasoning and he was in hog heaven.

So today we dropped off the puppy to be fixed, went to the doctors where they don't have him listed on my insurance yet so I had to pay, then in the afternoon to have him tested for language. The class I had been told about - special class for non-English speakers - isn't up and running yet. The district is trying to get it going but doesn't expect to have it going until after the next academic year. Well, by then Dat won't need it - real bummer. So he will be going to school with A and C and will be in 1st grade and will be pulled out for ESL classes.

In the process of talking to her, I told her about the issues and concerns I have about C's English and comprehension. I explained that C had tested out of ESL before we moved here but I was very concerned about her since she has comprehension issues. I have talked to her teachers but they say she is doing fabulous and not to worry, well, while I agree that she is doing fabulous, I do worry since she is so great at memorizing and bad at understanding what she is memorizing. I am very much afraid that when she gets to the grade where memorization is out and comprehension is in, she will fail. I have several times asked her to draw a conclusion from something she is memorizing for a test or to tell me similarities and differences between two things when she is memorizing stuff about it (for example - similarities and difference between hibernation and migration when they have finished the unit on them and she just looks blankly at me). She had to do a science project and even with the rubric and at least two pages of information on projects, she had no clue what a hypothesis was (the word was on the information sheet sent home), no clue beyond 'mix this with that and see what it does' , no plan, no thought as to how to photograph the experiment, no clue as to the quantities she should use, basically, beyond mixing two things together and seeing what happened. The teacher says 'oh, yes, we went over that in class for a couple of days. She knows what she is supposed to do.' Well, she doesn't know. In large part due to her not asking questions and not wanting to say she doesn't understand. I have told her millions of times that if she doesn't understand she should ask, but her best friend is in the same class and I don't think she wants to appear dumb in front of her. It is also an Asian thing - they don't want to appear dumb and will not say they don't understand. But I have also told the teachers that they need to do more than ask if she understands, she will say yes and that will be the end of it and she really has no clue. Her grades are good now so the teachers think she is comprehending, but I know she is not and is getting by on memorization. So tomorrow I am going to try to talk to the principal and see if she will have C retested for ESL. This is what the language evaluator said I needed to do. I said I hated to go above the teachers and she said, no, I had to go to the Principal and get her retested.
As for Dat, he will start 1st grade after spring break.

Sometime tomorrow I will have to find a dentist. I'm not real happy with the dentist we are currently using so I will be trying to find another and using Dat as the guuiney pig. His teeth are horrible and his gums bleed when he brushes and his breath stinks. Poor baby.

Finally Home

We made it home, survived some 20+ hours of traveling, made it through immegration and customs and are now home. Dat and the girls are outside playing, while Aidan takes a break. Dat is in seventh heaven with all the toys and stuff here. They took him down the street to meed some of the kids and he got all excited when he saw the bikes, but then chickened out when they tried to pursuade him to try one. He took one of the skooters and didn't do well apparently, tried to go too fast and couldn't balance. Makes it even harder to teach him since he has no english. He is out in the back yard now with a tennis racket and a yo-yo. I'm not sure about that combination, but whatever makes him happy right now.

I want to go to bed at the regular time to force my body back on Texas time, but I'm fading fast and may not make it

Day 12 - bored, bored, bored

So this morning we went out early (Aidan really wanted one of the ships) but the store wasn't open. So we went on down to he store that sold back-packs and bags and got a rolling duffel bag. Back in to the room for a couple of hours, then back to the store. Got three ships and a few other things which barely fit into the bag, then off to lunch. Back to the hotel to finish packing and sit until about 4:30-4:45 when I have to check out, then a car will take us to the airport. we'll eat dinner there and waste some 5 hours until our 11:50 pm flight leaves. They offered to let us stay in the hotel until 9 or so, but I wanted to get to the airport. I hate not having enough time and the way traffic is here, I don't want to allow just enough time to get there. I'd rather be early, get good seats (hopefully), and be bored there. I also figured Dat would like to watch the airplanes for a while. So the next time I post will be from home.

Day 11 - part 2

So Tuesday we shopped, Wednesday we went to the temple on the lake. It is a very nice temple dedicated to some general who according to legend tossed a sacred sword into the lake where it was picked up by a turtle and hidden until it is needed again to save Vietnam. Or something like that. There is a species of turtle in the lake that is found nowhere else if I remember correctly. Last summer I remember reading about someone finding one of the turtles. It was a big deal as they hadne't been seen since the 1960's and they were presumed extinct. Anyway it was a pretty cool temple.

Today we went to get Dat's passport, we had to do that first as I had to sign something to get it, then we went to the SOS clinic where they basically verified that Dat was the same child in the passport photo and that he was alive and didn't have anything obvious wrong with him.

After lunch we wandered through a department store as we had time to kill and I managed to find some jade I couldn't live without. Didn't spend that much, a little over $100 american. Then off to the Embassy for the interview and Visa. I payed the money, we sat and waited and waited and waited. I had a 2:00 appointment, so around 3:15 I was called up to a window, asked if I would swear that everything in the package they had was true and accurate to the best of my knowledge, I so swore, and the guy said to come back between 4 and 4:30 for the visa. The boys and I came back to the hotel and Hang ran some errands of her own, then picked up the visa for me. She just dropped it off. So we are good to go.

Tomorrow we'll sleep in, go across the street and get the boys the boats they want, check out of the hotel, then go to the airport and kill the rest of the day waiting for our 11:50 pm flight out.

Back home Saturday am. Yay!!!

Day 11 - Wrapping up

A lousy internet connection in the room has prevented me from posting as much as I would have liked, but not a whole lot has happened the last couple of days anyway. Tuesday we went out and, intending only to pick up a couple more small Ao Dai's for my friend, managed to buy the two AoDai's for her, two more for my girls, PJs for Dat, and silk wrappers for the five of us. I also broke down and got a jade buddah for Dat, and jade earings and heart pendant for me. I had forgotten until this morning that I had promised to get carved boats for the boys so we will get that today.

We will be leaving shortly for the SOS clinic where Dat will have his Visa medical, while I am filling out forms there, Hang will do a quick trip to the immegration department to pick up Dat's passport. Afterwards we'll do the Visa interview at 2:00 pm. Don't know if we'll get the visa today or tomorrow as Hang dropped everything they need off yesterday so they have had everything but the passport for a day. Should be no problem getting the Visa tomorow anyway. We packed yesterday - everything but clothes for today and tomorrow so once we have the visa we'll head to the airport and just kick around until our midnight flight leaves.

Yay! Vietnam is beautiful and the people are wonderful, but I will be very glad to be heading home.

One note that I have found very strange. I have been changing dollars to dong, but really didn't have to. With the exception of a couple of restaraunts, every place quotes prices in dollars first and changes to dong only when I ask them to. One place yesterday gave me a price and when I pulled the dong out, they got upset and said that price was dollars not dong. I said "OK - what is the price in dong?", they converted and told me. The guy's attitude was along the lines of 'stupid american, how could you think it was so few dong?' Well, I expect to pay local currency for local products not american dollars. Althougth I did pay dollars for the silk as it would have left me with no dong otherwise.

Day 8 - All Shopped Out

I didn't post Sunday as I was so tired when we got back. Did a tour of Hanoi - HoChiMin complex, Temple of Literature, Museaum of Ethnicity and last but not least - Water Puppets. The guide we had was very good and enjoyed telling me everything I didn't know - which was a lot. The boys had fun running around outside while we were looking at examples of the types of houses that the different minorities live in. We walked and walked and walked. When we got back to the hotel, all we could do was toddle down the street to our favorite food place and get noodles for dinner. I got chewed out by one of the hotel employees since we had gone out in morning with the boys in shorts and short sleeves. Not a problem you would think, but it had gotten cool (finally) and was a bit nippy. I was OK but Aidan said he was a little cold as we were waiting in line for the Mosoleaum. Apparently Dat told the guy in the hotel that he was cold - although he hadn't said anything to the guide and didn't act cold - even when A pulled his arms inside his T. I was a little annoyed but dug out the jackets I brought for the boys and Dat put his on when we went out for dinner.

When we went shopping yesterday both boys wore their jackets, but the soon came off and I ended up carrying them so when we came back in to dump packages, I dropped the jackets and neither boy picked theirs up when we went out again. It is cool in the mornings, but warms up to low 70's during the day so they only need them for a bit in the mornings. I'd rather they be cool for a short while then have to carry their jackets all day once they take them off - but I'm lazy that way. Got most of the shopping done yesterday, still need to pick up a couple of small AoDai's and the silk I promised a friend I'd look for, then I am done. I have spent a LOT less than I expected here (thank you Lord), so when I get home, the extra will go to paying for the bills (hotel, airline tickets, etc). We are not going to make HaLong bay this trip, only day possible at this time would be tomorrow and I don't think I want to push that.

The computer in my room is getting worse and worse. They did something to it on Sunday so now it doesn't connect to the internet at all. Maybe for a couple of minutes, then it shuts down the connection so it is very difficult for me to write on the blog. I am in the little sitting area on the second floor writing this and the connection here is very good. I don't understand it. I'm gonna ask that they have someone look at it again.

more later.

A day of Firsts

This morning Hang brought her son over and we took off to the 'Children's Park' down in the south part of the city. The park has a beautiful lake as well as amusements for the kids. Dat had his first time in a ball pit.

First time on an airplane ride

First time on a baby roller-coaster, first time on a mini-ferris wheel, first time on a tram-train and first time in a bumper car. I think the bumber cars won the prize as the most fun of all as he wanted to stay on and managed to get Hang to agree to a second ride.

After we got back to the hotel, we went out to lunch at a new restarunt, then did a little bit of shopping before buying our favorite noodles and returning to the room for the afternoon. This has been our pattern and it seems to be working. After breakfast we do something, then eat lunch, maybe shop a bit more, then get noodles and return to the room. Aidan does his school work and we eat dinner when we get hungry, then bed. This way we don't spend all day in the room and we get back in before it gets really hot, but A gets his TV time in. It is also cheaper for poor mommy as meals, while not really expensive, have been costing me $20 to $30 a meal. We have got to have more than fried rice every meal and since we aren't eating in the sidewalk eateries it is more expensive than I thought it would be.

A lot of the trees around here have these huge bean pods and A is fascinated by them. He finally found a pod, and even though it was empty, is bringing it back for 'show and tell' at school.

And finally I will leave you with a picture of 'couch potates' wherein A is indulging in his love of cartoons and Dat is trying to make up for a lifetime lacking in TV cartoons.

Honeymoon is over

It took less than two days and the honeymoon is already over. Dat copies everything A does and A gets tired of it. It doesn't help that Dat doesn't understand when A tells him to leave something of his alone. Dat doesn't understand to be careful of stuff so he has managed to squash two of A' s paper airplanes. He didn't mean to do it, but he got carried away and landed on the plane when he jumped to catch it. A also gets upset when Dat doesn't do what he wants. He doesn't seem to understand that Dat doesn't understand what he says. When he is in the position of helping Dat, showing him something or hanging on to him when we cross a street (very dangerous thing here in Hanoi), he is a wonderful big brother. But then we get back to the room and A wants to lie down on the small couch but Dat wants to sit next to him, well, then A gets a bit miffed and pushes him away. Right now they are in the shower and A is helping Dat. Dat obviously has never showered, bathed yes, showered, no. It is very funny to watch. Dat keeps sitting down and squeals when the water is turned on.

We walked to the lake this morning and ate lunch at the Kangaroo cafe. On the way back, we got noodle cups for dinner. For some reason, I am not as adventurous with food here as I was in China, maybe because Chinese food is more familier to me and maybe because, this trip, I am here by myself, if I get sick, there is no one here to help with the boys. We have eaten with Hang a couple of times and the food is very good, but by ourselves we tend to go to a hotel around the corner that also caters to european and adoptive families. There are a couple of other resturants we have passed that I would like to try, but I have no interest in eating at any of the little sidewalk eateries that are all over.

We have seen a lot of beggers the last couple of days too. I feel sorry for them - people with arm and leg difference - in the states they would be whatever they wanted to be, but here they are reduced to being beggers. However, I know better than to give them anything. The guys selling lighters and wallets, the ladies selling pinapples and bananas, the guys with the cycle tours, the guys wanting to shine my shoes are really becomming annoying too, if I tell them 'No thank you' and keep walking, they will call out to Dat, I don't know what they say, but he turns around to talk to them and I have to keep my arm around him and push him on.

We've now been on all the streets that are labled as 'shopping streets' in the immediate vicinity of the hotel. They all seem to sell the same things. I haven't seen any different or unique items yet. I hope that where ever we go with Hang tomorrow and on the tour sunday we find some stuff I want to buy. Otherwise I'll get the Ao dias for the girls, a few Chinese dresses for a friend and a few of the neat jewelery boxes and be done with it. I was hoping to find a jade pendant in whatever animal was 2001, but haven't seen anything like that around. Pearls and some jade bracelets and ear rings, but no zodiac animal pendants. Seen a few cloisone bracelets but not a lot of variety. I was also hoping to find some stuff with dragons but haven't seen any of that either.

Hotel is trying to get me to sign up for a two day, overnight trip to HaLong bay, but I'm not going to do it, we'll stick with the one day tour that I wanted to do. I need to call the SOS clinic and embassy on Monday to see if they will let me do the SOS stuff on Wednesday before I get Dat's passport and the timing just isn't going to fit with a two day trip.

Dat

Dat has been so well prepared for this adoption, it is amazing. He shows no concerns, no fear and no sadness about leaving the orphanage. I know that it may surface in a few days, but for now, he has adjusted amazingly well. He chatters to him self and us in Vietnamese and doesn't seem to care that we can't understand him. He plays by himself with the cars and track I brought him or plays with A. They are getting along very well.

It is raining today, and while I wanted to do some shopping, A doesn't want to get wet. He and I may have a showdown sooner or later but he isn't going to spend the entire time in the hotel room watching TV. I have cut him a lot of slack because of jet-lag, but he has caught up pretty well now.

I made reservations for us to have a tour of Hanoi and some of the temples and museums on Sunday and we will do Ha Long Bay a little later in the week. Saturday we are meeting up with Hang and her little boy who is Dat's age to go to a children's park.

Pictures - as requested

DatDat above and Dat and Aidan below.

Street corner near the hotel Cemetary on the way to Thai Binh

View from hotel window

Another view from hotel window with roof top clothes line or wash line

Aidan holding a woman't baskets and wearing her hat. She grabbed me and put the pole on my shoulder and the hat on my head and asked if I wanted my phot taken. I said OK so she took one then put the stuff on Aidan. Then she got upset when we didn't buy her pinapples.

Day 3 - slightly anticlamatic but Dat is mine

I have Dat now and he is officially mine. The boys are now tossing a tennis ball around as they try out all the toys I got for them to play with.

We got up later than yesterday, I slept until 5 and A slept until about 7. Breakfast then waiting for Hang to arrive around 12. She arrived and we walked down the alley to meet her. In the car and drive for 2+ hours. Got to the adoption place, and there was adorable Dat waiting for us. They had me sit in a particular chair then sign what felt like 2 dozen papers. Then the adoption official had me promise to love him, take care of him, treat him as I would a biological child, send the reports and bring him back one day to visit. They introduced themselves again and asked if I wanted to say anything. Caught cold, all I could think to say was something along the lines of 'Thank you for letting me have him and for taking care of him until I could get here". Then they took pictures and we left. I don't think the whole thing took 30 minutes. Back in the car for another 2 hour drive back to Hanoi. Of course, I didn't get any pictures as I was busy signing papers but Hang said they would send me copies of the ones they took.

Decided not to go to the orphanage as Dat was totally ready to leave with us. He has been beautifully prepared for being adopted and was ready to move on. Hang talked with the orphanage director and they felt he would be confused by going back. I felt sure I could beg copies of the pictures Emily took at the orphanage when they were there last month (please, please Emily) so I didn't object.

Got back to the city just in time for rush hour, I thought people in China drove crazy, here you have motor bikes competing with cars and a few bicycles and of course - pedestrians tossed in for good measure. If their side of the road is too slow, they will drive on the wrong side. Dear Heavens. Hang took us to a great restaurant for dinner, then back to the hotel. Dat is playing with each toy for a few minutes, then moving on to the next. A is watching TV and I don't think Dat has seen much TV before, he is totally captivated by Tom and Jerry. A is sitting in the bed watching and Dat is on the floor. I don't know how I am going to tell him to get ready for bed. A sleeps in gym shorts and I didn't get Dat any pj's as I didn't know whether he would use them or not.

We'll meet Hang at 8:30 tomorrow morning to apply for his passport, then we are free until next Thursday. Hang seems to think that we can get his passport, do the medical and the Visa interview all the same day which means will be able to get his visa and make our flight (Please God - I need prayers that we can make this happen, I really don't want to stay here over an extra weekend.

Got him into the gym shorts without any problem, a little pantomime and he changed. He seems to be a very bright little boy albeit a little overwhelmed by all the new stuff. Luckily I didn't bring much. The matchbox cars and track are a BIG hit.

Oh, on another note, the kid has quite an arm, he was easily tossing darts clear across the room which A couldn't do consistently. There may be baseball in this guys future.

Now A is teaching him to jump from bed to bed. I forsee hospital visits in the future too.

Day 2 - Later

Met Hang at 11:30 and she took us to buy shirts for two adoption officials. I told her to chose as I ad no clue what was appropriate so she did. Then we walked to a restaurant called Pho 24 for lunch. It was good but needed a little salt. A scarfed his down. Then a taxi back to the hotel, where we we arranged to meet with Hang tomorrow for the trip to Thai Binh and the GR. After we found that our stuff had been moved to our new room - this one huge and has two beds - yay, we went back out and walked to the toy street. Most of the things we saw weren't worth the money. Stuffed animals and cheap plastic toys. A had decided he wanted a carved dagger we saw yesterday but couldn't find today. But then we went the other way yesterday and had to turn around and go back. I figure it must have been the other way, but A didn't want to walk any more so we came back to the hotel. We are supposed to meet a couple of other adoptive families here for dinner, but I don't know if A is going to make it. He s laying on the couch watchng TV and his eyes are drooping. We are supposed to eat lunch before meeting Hang tomorrow and I'm not sure how to do it. If se comes around 11:30 - 12:00 like she said, it will be too close to breakfast for either A or I to be very hungry. I think I'm going to see if I can get some noodles we can cook here in the room.

Hang said that after the G&R tomorrow, we will take Dat to get his passport Thursday am which means that we will get the passport next Thursday. Apparently we can't do the SOS clinic until we have his passport, which makes no sense to me, becuse if we have to wait to do that until late Thursday, we can't go to get his Visa until Friday which means that I probably wont have it until the next day which means Monday. I really don't know what to do, don't know if the hotel will have room for us for three more nights - I really want to make my Friday midnight flight out.

Another downer is that neither A's DS or the DVD player will re-charge in the room. I even got a transformer from the front desk and it doesn't work. I'm not real surprized about the DVD as I don't think that charger is the right one (universal my a**) but it works OK at home. I haven't tried either of the camera battery chargers but they should work, I know mine did in China so there is no reason it wouldn't work here.

Also haven't been able to upload pictures. The USB disk reader I use at home wasn't recognized on the computer in the other room and I haven't tried it on this one. Figure that out later.

Day 2 - very early

It is 4:30 am here and A is wide awake. I was hoping for a few more hours sleep, but no luck - once he is awake, he starts bouncing. Heard from Hang yesterday, she called several times before we connected (right after we left for an early dinner, while I was in the shower and finally I got the phone) We are meeing today around 11 to discuss the G&R and whether or not I need to buy more gifts and anything else I need to know. Afterwards we hope to meet with a lady I met on the internet and a couple of World Child families who are staying at a nearby hotel. G& R will be tomorrow as orphanage director is traveling and won't be back until then.

Day 1

We are in the Hanoi elegance 4 as the 3 was full and couldn't accomodate us for two weeks. The 4 insisted that they only had one of their 'Family Suites' with two beds available as I had first requested a smaller room with two beds. When we got here, they put us in a 'Junior Suite' with one king size bed. I asked and was told that the larger room wasn't available and I should ask this morning. This morning I was told that someone had requested the larger room last night before we arrived so they put us in the smaller room. I said it was ok until I got Dat, but I would need a larger room with two beds then. They were going to move us today, told us that the room was ready for us to move right after breakfast. Then I heard three women talking to the manager requesting a bigger room for two nights - I knew right away what would happen, sure enough, the room that was ready for us before breakfast disappeared and wouldn't be available until tomorrow. This room is fine for just Aidan and I, but will be too small when we get Dat. I don't want to cause a scene, but will need the larger room tomorrow, hopefully they will come through.

Still haven't heard from Hang so I don't know if our G&R is tomorrow or what is going on. I emailed her a few minutes ago and hope to hear something soon. Now that I am here, I am getting a bit impatient, and I HATE not having a clue what is happening when. Don't really need exact times, but would like to know that the G&R is this day, etc.

Aidan and I went out for a walk this morning. It is hot and humid so we didn't get far before mr energizer bunny started flagging and wanted to come back to the hotel. We are munching on the fruit tray that is in the room for lunch and will go out to eat a bit later - hopefully it will have cooled off a bit by then. I'm sure that jet-lag is playing a part in mr energizer bunnys' lack of energy. I feel a bit tired myself. Of course, I also think that the power going out during our breakfast so we had to climb 8 flights of steps to get to our room and walk back down again before we went for our walk didn't help much.

Vietnam reminds me so much of China; same type of architecture, same type of small stores jammed full of stuff; same gardens/wash lines/small animal enclosures on the roof tops; same crush of people. We had to keep stepping off the side walk and into the street to walk as the sidewalks were full of motor bikes parked. Not nearly as many bicycles here as China but lots more motor cycles. Do not like the people who try to sell you stuff - the ones with trays who follow you around asking you to buy. They just do NOT take no for an answer. I'll have to ask Hang what the Vietnamese term for NO is. Found some stores with BEAUTIFUL Ao Dais, Aidan found a couple of t-shirts with dragons, found some puzzle boxes in animal shapes that would do as good gifts for the girls and their friends if not too expensive. Didn't price anything, just looking today but did find a few things that I'll probably buy. Did find some Chinese style dresses that I'll check out for a friend whose girls have outgrown all she got in China. A lot of the 'stuff' is very similar to what you find in China also.

It is funny to see people's reaction to my long-haird son. Every body thinks he is a girl and does a double take when I tell them 'boy'.

Well, think I'll go read a while and hope to hear from Hang.

K and A - they keep trying to push pink things on me for my daughters.

Midnight in Vietnam

We are here, tired but here. It is midnight local time - don't know what time it is Dallas time. Heading for bed and will see what hapens tomorrow. We were supposed to get a family suite, but they put us in the junior suite, it is a bit smaller and has only one bed. OK for tonight, but when we get Dat, I had wanted the bigger suite.

Good night - more tomorrow.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

Bags are packed, we're ready to go, hope we haven't forgotten anything important. Dogs are in the kennel; old, old cat is boarding at the vet; C is with the family who will be taking care of her; K is with her best friend's family. A and I are taking care of a few last minute things before we hit the sack. I've got a couple of bills to pay and emails to send, then I'm gone.

Next post - Vietnam

Countdown Begins

6 days from now, A and I will be sitting in the airport waiting to board the plane to Vietnam. I am starting to get butterflies and nerves. We started packing yesterday and got most of the boy's stuff packed. I decided to take two large (but not huge) suitcases, one small pilot's bag as a carry-on and A has his backpack and I will have a tote. One suitcase has all the boy's stuff and it isn't crammed, full, but not crammed so there should be room if we buy stuff in Vietnam. My case is almost empty, but it won't take me long to finish packing. Got some clothes for Dat, toys for the boys to play with, books for A to read, picked up a couple of DS games for the airplane, but they have been opened and played with already (lol). A's task today is to find all the games so we can pack them to take. Got a new cord for the DVD player so that can be charged and packed, got some snacks for the plane and some 'comfort food' for my picky eater so there will be something for him to eat if he doesn't like Vietnamese food. Girls are good to go, they will pack later in the week, K will be coming home every couple of days to clean litter boxes and make sure the cats have water and food. Old cat will be going to vet to be boarded as he needs meds every day and special food, dogs are set to go to the kennel. Bills are paid or scheduled. Can't find my plug adapters so I may have to buy new ones and I want to get a 2 gig memory card for my camera - i have been using a 521 mbyte card for years so I think it is time to upgrade.

So, I think I am well on my way to be ready, however, it never ceases to amaze me how different this adoption is from my earlier ones. I don't know how much is the difference between China and Vietnamese adoption and how much is agency oddities but I do not know how much money I will need to have for Dat's passport, Visa or medical for the Visa. I don't know if this money needs to be in American dollars or Vietnamese money. I don't know if I am supposed to buy stuff here for orphanage donations/gifts to nannies or buy it over there. I don't know how many people I am supposed to buy for either. I know none of this is earth-shaking, but it would be nice to know what I am supposed to do. It seems odd to buy gifts for the nannies in country, I was told that the Chinese nannies always wanted American stuff. I will probably pick up a few toiletry gift bags to take just in case. This is going to be "adoption on a budget", more-so than any of the others were so it would be so nice to know what I am expected to take and how much I need.

Step Two

So I emailed the Vietnam rep about changing the G&R date, her response was 'that's fine let me know as soon as you have travel dates' so I started talking to travel agents. I was just going to use the agency agent, but several had recommended another so I called him. I was interested in a flight on Korean Air that go from Dallas to Seoul to Hanoi - one stop. He didn't recommend Korean and was trying to get me to go with EVA, but EVA is more expensive - more comfortable but more expensive and we'd have to go to LA or SF to pick up the overseas flight. A is not the best traveller, basically because he still struggles to read (dyslexia) and it is difficult for him to sit still for hours on an airplane. I absolutely hate LAX and don't think SF is much better so the thought of flying there, then facing another long flight, then another just didn't appeal. Since money is tight, spending extra for a longer flight didn't appeal either. So I tossed it around and around and around then tried to figure out why the agency agent was quoting me a cheaper price for the Korean Air flight than the other agent was. Never really did figure it out, but went with the agency agent. Someone later told me that agents will make deals with certain airlines - they get paid no matter which airline you pick but the airlines they have deals with will pay them more for steering customers to that airline. And sometimes they will give the agent a discount on tickets if they steer a lot of customer. Whatever, I have tickets for a lower price than I anticipated, yeah, i won't have a lot of legroom, but will be able to lift the arm rest between A's and my seat and spread out a bit.

Got the girls settled - arrangements made, need to register C in a after-school place for the two weeks as the family who is watching her have their girls there. Dogs have a reservation at a doggy B&B so they will be fine. This place watched our previous dogs for 3 months when we moved here so I know they are good. K will be able to stop by the house every couple of days to clean litter boxes and feed cats so they will be fine in the house, we have the feeders that hold several days of food so they don't need to be fed every day.

Got D a backpack and of course one for A, got a couple pairs of pants and matching T-shirts for the boys as well as a few games for them to play. Need some comfort food for A to take in case he doesn't like Vietnamese food (not really concerned about this but want some noodles and stuff in case we just don't feel like going out one day).

It is coming along and I probaly will be ready to travel when the time comes.

MY TURN NOW

Got a call the night before last. Agency called - Vietnam rep had emailed and said province wanted me there for the G&R on the 12th of Feb. I said they've got to be kidding - as much as I want to go get this child, I couldn't leave on two days notice, don't have my Visa, kids have to be shipped out, dogs set up in kennel, tickets bought etc. Requested a delay until the 24th or 25th. They agreed. So now I am making list upon list of things I have to do, shopping for airline tickets and finding a hotel.
looks like I will be leaving on the 20th or 21st and returning on the 8th or 9th. Too much to do between now and then.
Visas, Tickets; hotel reservations; DS games for A for plane; new power cord for DVD player for A for plane (puppies chewed last one); small backpack with toys for S; couple of outfits for S; talk to A's teacher for school work for him to take; legal guardianship for the girls so the people they are staying with can take them to the Dr's if necessary; what do the schools need so friends can pick up girls etc while I am gone.

So many things to take care of

So little time . . . . .

Christmas 2008

So now we are up to Christmas. For some reason I just couldn't get in the mood as well as I have in previous years. Don't know why, could have been many things; letdown over not going to Vietnam before the holidays; puppies destroying all Christmas decorations that were in reach - therefore not being able to put up a big tree but making do with a small tabletop tree in the (mostly unused) formal dining room; sister and brother, for some unknown reason, cutting me off for the last year; not having the $$ to go all out for presents like I usually do; concern about financing the last portion of the adoption - with not finalizing this year, I'll have to wait an additional year for the adoption tax rebate- thus another year of very tight finances and several other things. Did my best to be upbeat for the kids but it really got blown away when my son opened a box that had his big gift from Santa in it. I had thought it was something else and was flabbergasted when I realized what had happened. Luckily A was suspicious about Santa after walking in on me stuffing stockings last year so I told him the truth. He was OK with it and felt somewhat superior to his older sister who still believes. Although I don't know how she can, she saw the gift when he opened the box and again from Santa.

Christmas dinner was a bust also - amusing looking back - I'm not usually such a poor cook. I had gotten another turkey breast and all the fixins. This time the kids decided they wanted some stuff that I didn't have and I found that I was out of fried onions for the green bean casserole. So off to the grocery I went. Fried onions were a hard to find item and I was almost ready to call it quits when I found a small bag and grabbed the last one. Back home I finished preparations then realized that the turkey had to cook a lot longer than I thought. Had everything but the turkey ready for a 6pm dinner. Son was starving so I decided to have our dinner on Christmas day instead of Christmas eve. Fed A and ate a bit myself. Girls nibbled. When the turkey was done all three kids wanted to eat, I wasn't hungry but what could I do. They fixed themselves plates and watched TV while they ate. At around 9pm. We put everything away and fixed it again on Christmas day, another casual meal in front of the Wii which was the kids big present from me this year.

Otherwise a very relaxed holiday. I had taken a few days off to make it a full two weeks for me and we just kicked back and relaxed. It was a wonderful vacation albeit not a Christmassy one.

Adoption update - none

Round about a week or so before Thanksgiving my adoption agency said that they had everything they needed and there was only one step to go before I could travel to get my son. A paper had to be signed by the provincial police then signed by the DIA (central adoption office) and sent back to the orphanage or provincial something, then the G&A (official adoption ceremony in VietNam) could be set. The adoption agency didn't quite think it could be done quickly enough that I could travel and return before Christmas (I didn't want to be away from my kids at Christmas) but expected that I would be able to travel right afterwards. Well, as far as I know, that is where things still stand. I called the agency a week after Thanksgiving and they had no more information for me. I called just before Christmas and still no information, they shut down over Christmas (two weeks as far as I could tell) so no information when I called again on the 5th. They keep telling me 'soon', but I don't know what that means. Unfortunately, I can't travel at the drop of a hat and need some time to finalize arrangements for my daughters and the pets etc, all are tentatively set but details need to be finalized when the date is set. I figure I need a minimum of two weeks before I can get on a plane and would like at least three weeks. Well see, maybe I'll get some news this upcoming week.

Thanksgiving

Have I told you that I am not a cook? I can cook, but am somewhere between adequate and ok in the cooking department. So, Thanksgiving dinner was planned to be a Turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, green bean cassarole and pumpkin pie. With olives and stuffed celery on the side. Last year I cooked a whole turkey and ended up tossing a fair amount from the freezer as it had been in there too long. So this year it was to be only the breast as the 4 of us can't eat that much of a whole turkey. I decided to bake the turkey on top of the stuffing so the stuffing would pick up the juices. Don't know exactly where I went wrong, but the stuffing was either soggy mush (the part under the turkey) or burned crispy (the parts not under the turkey). So stuffing was off the menu. The rest of the meal was great and we made piggies of ourselves.

I'm Back - Happy 2009

Apologies to those who have been watching my blog, hoping for an update or some good news. Well there isn't any. By way of explanation, the time from Thanksgiving to Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, but the last couple haven't been so good. We lost a beloved family pet last year, right before Christmas when she somehow managed to get to some chocolate that had been pushed way back behind some stuff on the kitchen cabinet (we were baking and had left it there thinking it was safe, to be used the next day), my brother and sister have figuratively pushed me out of the family and aren't talking to me and I have no clue why and the Vietnam adoption stuff didn't come together as I hoped. And finally, I couldn't decorate like I love to because the horrible little monsters (HLM) aka puppies tore everything up, so I was, while not really depressed, seriously bummed.

We had an OK holiday season and the kids didn't seem to notice that mommy wasn't up to snuff so they had a good Christmas. I'll do a synopsis of the holidays, but in a couple of posts so it isn't a mile long.